Buy the Talking Spatula Here! Feeling lonely, or just wish you had someone else to talk to your guests on your behalf? Both issues are now solved, albeit the conversation may be a bit circular and awkward. At the push of the button your spatula will say 9 different things, which are "Who are you calling chicken?", "You don't need no teef to eat my beef!, I said flip it! Flip it good!", "HEY, this is MINE, where's yours?","How would you like yours done? Rare, medium, or...cremated?", "Hey good looking, what's cookin?", "Get in my belly!", "The burger's done when I say it's done!", and last but not least, "You call that a spatula? THIS is a spatula!"